50 Shades of God

All of us have different theories as to how the universe came into existence. Big bang theory, Steady State Universe, Eternal Inflation theory and so much more. All of these theories are backed up with at least a handful of facts. These are based on physical laws of nature. Physical laws exist even if we consider the possibilities of multiverses. We can reason with why we are 90% sure with a specific theory, show proof that is again backed up with a ton of other eventualities.

But..

There is always a but when you talk about something.

Most of the population, especially the country I live in, India, people believe that a four-headed god created the universe while the man who sleeps on a huge snake protects it and the nice man with the moon as his hair clip destroys.

Now, see, I am not neglecting the Muslims or Christians or any other religion. I don’t even like the idea of religions, because why waste time? But I am smart enough to know not to follow the aggressively assertive stupidity that Hinduism is. Why does being Saffron hold any value in this country is what I don’t understand. Shouting ‘Jai Shri Ram’ before you murder someone is not helping anyone escape hell, or as I like to call it prison. But oh, wait, I am wrong, turns out that it does.

Yes, I am being critical.

Learning the Fundamental rights of an Indian Citizen, that Dr.B.R.Ambedhkar scribbled down happily while drafting the constitution, until 10th Grade did not go to waste. Freedom of speech and expression, remember?

Living with people who are staunch religious or man holding a disk in his index finger believers, I grew up believing that I have to close my eyes and desperately pray to a statue to help me get good marks in exam.

Now I am an atheist. To have that change happening, there must be an event.

That was: Going to Kumbakonam, a district with more than 100 temples. Woke up at 5, went around to 12 temples a day, slept at 12. Could a 10 year old have gone through any more torture? I wanted to cry.

It started out as frustration and hate.

Then came the rational thinking, when science and Indian history proved me with facts that god couldn’t be real. I asked google about when god came into existence. The search engine provided me websites where one of them read ‘God never came into existence at a particular time. God has always been in existence.’ I was like, ‘whoa’. Many Hindus argue that their faith is timeless. Are you kidding me? Time itself is defined by measurement. Faith in gods being timeless? Shows us how real this person god is.

History has a whole story on how God was created. Yes, god was created. In my opinion, he wasn’t who created us. We are made of cells. Purely biology. Now here I will have people who will claim god created science. Oh he didn’t, because science only gives us more the reason to not believe in lord almighty’s existence.

Let me tell you my story…

My family, worships god like crazy. I am the outcast. Most people around me believe in God. My dad frowned at me one day in the temple and asked me to pray sincerely so I would score well in exams. Just a couple of months ago. My mom, I don’t even understand what she believes in. God appears in my grandmothers’ dreams. Rituals and events to please god happen so regularly that it is supposed to be as casual as brushing my teeth. The only reason I like temples is because of that atmosphere (which can be scientifically explained) and the architecture. Who doesn’t hate crowded temples? I can list down a lot of names of people who I am related to.

My overthinking told me that God is fake, like most humans in the world. And oh, I am not so real to the world to. What use it is anyway? I am not going to waste my energy. But God, he is 100% fake to me. I don’t believe in after life or reincarnation. I believe in my body decomposing and turning into manure. At least I am useful that way, as food to worms and plants.

Why is God fake? Because god is the perfect hallucinated image of all the emotions. You are happy, you thank god. You are relieved you say ‘Thank God!’. You are upset, you say ‘Oh God!’. You are angry, you curse and blame God for giving you this life and for putting you in the situation. You are scared, you ask for help. How does someone even think God is going to help them pass exams? Aishwarya Rai didn’t pray to god in Endhiran movie when she wanted to write her medical exam. A goddamn robot helped her. We don’t have robots. We have brains. Seems like we lose them when we believe in god.

God is the embodiment of hope, fear, love, problems, luck and a lot of other emotions. Stories are written to make people believe that god is there for us. Not even the person next to you is going to be there for you, except yourself. People unload all the responsibility of their actions, choices and emotions on this non-existent whatever. What do I even call it? That is how surreal this god is.

The word god is so strong but it’s meaning is so fragile. ‘Building strongu, basement weaku’. God has me quoting Vadivelu jokes now. Thank you so much for blessing me with good memory and an okay level sense of humor!

People physically and emotionally strain themselves to please a mere thought, an epidemic disease is all that it is. I have seen my grandmother cry for god. People spend crores of money on god. Tirupati is a hell(sorry, heaven) of a business.

God instills fake fear and hope. God breaks unity. God creates problems. I am blaming 9/11 on God. He didn’t write it down in his calendar for it to happen, but he did serve as motive. Detective Kate Beckett from the tv show I watch taught me that whatever serves motive is the killer. We have a murderer right here in our minds. God brings in religion, caste. That creates discrimination. Kill racial, communal and all sorts of discrimination? then, kill god.

We have heard stories of god killing the bad guys. Ever seen a serial killer movie or show where the person who claims to be the good person, doing the good, turns out to be the bad person? Oh god, wait! Don’t assume I am talking about our country’s political situation. Assumptions can turn out to be right and wrong.

Anyway, we kill God in our minds, we kill a lot of problems. Most importantly, we learn to be better human beings.

Everyone has different opinions and I have mine.

Let me just say that God is the best invisible con artist I have ever heard of.

I am just a young girl voicing sensible thoughts here. That’s not a crime. Unlike this non-existent entity who should have FIRs filing up against it.

( Thank you for reading. Please pray I become a great writer.)